Thursday, June 7, 2012

Sorry If I Ramble... Ive Been Trying To Get All My Thoughts Straight. Its Alot To Take In At 21.

    I Havent Been On Here In A Couple Days... Mostly Because Ive Just Been Spending Time With My Boyfriend And Family. Its Been Really Nice. I Guess Im In A Good Place I Dont Know If Thats A Good Or Bad Thing... I Have Been Missing Zy Like Crazy Though.
    My Mom Got All Her Teeth Pulled Today. I Took Her In The Morning It Was Horrible. I Started Reading 50 Shades Of Grey (If Youve Read It: Wow... Thats All I Can Say).  I Think It Took Her Like 2.5 Hours Or Something. That Wasnt Bad But I Felt So Bad For Her When She Came Back Out. They Put Her Dentures In Right Away But She Was In Alot Of Pain. It Sucks When Someones In Pain Or Sick And You Cant Do Anything About It... But My Dad Bought A Sippy Cup Because She Couldnt Drink Out Of A Regular Cup(That Didnt Work Either).  When He Showed It To Me I Almost Cried. But Ive Been Learning How To Deal With Things Better. 
    That Brings Me To This... So Recently I Started Feeling Horrible Because Things Are Going Ohkayy For Me Right Now.  Its Been 2 Weeks And 4 Days Well Almost 5. Shouldnt I Still Be Upset?. I Mean I Am. And I Do Cry Sometimes. And I Still Get Sad... My Biggest Issue Is My Thoughts Are Still Everywhere So Its Hard For Me To Talk About Somethings Because I Just Dont Know How I Feel.  I Just Think That Maybe Im Wrong For Trying To Make This A Good Time?. Ive Just Had A Rough... Uhm 5 Or 6 Years And I Just Want Some Good. Zyaire Was Supposed To Be That. But Since He With God Shouldnt I Focus On Being Better?... But Its Been Less Than 3 Weeks(To Be Honest If Feels Like Months).  I Should Still Be Laying In Bed Feeling Horrible. But Ive Decided Im Going Back To Work Saturday... 
    Ha Actually Russel Did. He Says He Told Me. But He Didnt Or I Just Never Got That Message. Shit And I Have To Get A Dr. Note... I Dont Have A Doctor. Like I Went Through 2 Before Being Sent To A High Risk Then Going To A Genetic Specialist And Then Having My Son... And My Genetic Specialist/OBGYN/Pedestrian (The Lady Is A Genius) Said To Just Call Her If I Have Any Problems But She Only Does High Risk So She Said She Could Refer Me To  A Regular OB. But I Think Im Going To Try To Go Back To The Lady I Had Before I Went To The First High Risk Dr. 
    Who Knows I Liked Her For The Whole 1 Appointment I Had But Who Knows. I Kinda Want To Find A Permanent Doctor Because What If I Have Another Kid... I Dont Want To Have To Go Through All The Doctor Changes Again.    
    Im Mad My Boyfriend Is Asleep And Im Bored... Beccas Out... So Im Going To Wake Him Up(: My Hands Are Officially Tired Of Typing.

Rest In Paradise Zyaire I Love &+Miss You<3.    

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